Since it’s already published, I might as well publish this article online. hihi Below is the raw version of an article I passed to ate krezta for Lmag. XD
It’s not verified. But some people claimed that monthsaries were invented by Filipinos. Is this true madlang people?
Spot the mistake above.
Friend1: Necklace
Friend2: I don’t know, I don’t have a bf
Friend3: Your heart
Friend4: Ring
Friend5: Time J
And the list goes on…
(And I was like, ring? That friend is probably demented! )
But if that ‘little girl’, of whom I presumed, is around 14-15 years old, asked me, I’ll advise her to break up with her boyfriend, and instead, do better in school. Just kidding! this part was actually deleted. HAHA! no wonder.
It is funny though, how things have been about love lately. “I don’t have a girlfriend, I am so lonely.” “We broke up, I failed the test.” Why? Is romantic relationship the only thing that makes your life goes around? Then failed love stories will come out sooner or later. It’s getting on my nerves!
A woman, probably at her forty’s, smirked when asked if by any chance, she and her husband celebrated monthsary during their teen age years. Shocked, and stunned, and probably puzzled, all she said was, “what monthsary?”
It still, and I guess, will always bother me. How can people afford monthly celebrations? Given the limited time, limited resources (hey students, I am talking to you), and every limitation that there is to think of, some can still include monthsaries in their long list of activities. Is love a hassle?
Monthsary: The Issue
Due to lack of expertise, I consulted some of my friends regarding this stuff. I received a confirmation: monthsaries are really expensive. Though it appears unfair on the part of the male species, they are ones expected to give their utmost alas on their monthsary, specifically because their ladies are having a hard time on deciding whether they will wear dress, or wear a simple tees on your first month celebration.
Technically speaking, celebrating monthsaries are unpractical. Imagine every month; you have to prepare ‘something special’ that will make your partner happy. As a student, it is unwise to spend a high amount of money, especially if you parents are giving you money enough for your necessities only. Or even you have high-cut budget, do not forget that it is your parents’ money, not yours. So always keep an eye on your resources.
Moreover, it’s actually funny how monthsaries are turning into an obligation rather than a will. I quote my friend, “It is worst if you have a nagging girlfriend, when you forget your monthsary, girls will be hysterical”.
Monthsary: Limited
When asked why couples celebrate monthsaries, “Baka kasi hindi maka one year.” (We are not sure if we could reach one year). Ridiculous, that is, but it is where monthsary boils down. Really, kids of today have been looking at relationships as status instead of commitment. No wonder, nothing great comes out.
It saddens that people in a relationship nowadays are expecting an expiration date on love. It seems that love is an easy-to-get and easy-to-lose thing. Nothing special. Views on commitment have been distorted by the trending and nonsense lifestyle of teenagers. So, in other words, people have no choice left except to admit the sucking reality that relationships are limited, hence, monthsaries.
With the concept of monthsary entering the picture, forever is turning out as a big joke today. No joke. Although we could hear some proclamation of their err, undying love, it turns out otherwise. It turns out that their thought-to-be forever relationship has been squeezed into lesser months of some fights and some love. And that the concept of anniversary is becoming a big deal today (wow! They lasted each other that long. How’d they do that?) Anniversary is a milestone, I supposed. But with monthsary as a replacement, it’s now what kind of journey?
Unfortunately, most of the couples nowadays have been hauled by the modern society’s very definition of love— Cheap. Likewise, the age of romanticism has been extended even to the minors, including graders aged 11 and 12. Yet, these all end up on parting ways. Sad but true. With all the instant-ness popping out today, even the perception of love is becoming misleading. Talk about monthsaries.
Monthsary: The Satiation Theory
If you’ve studied Economics, you would probably understand how satiation theory affects our daily lives, well, today, even our love life. And to those non-Economic students, satiation is explained simply as: ‘The first time you eat your favorite food, you’ll feel very satisfied. But as you eat them twice or more, you will enjoy it less. As you eat further, you will lose satisfaction, to the point that you are just eating them.” Same thing happens on monthly celebrations. You’ll surely love the first time, most probably; it will make turn your life upside down. But as another month approaches, you will feel terrible, stressed out, obliged, and everything would be insincere. You just do celebrate for the sake of monthsary.
Monthsary: Cheap Thrill
Most probably not everyone would agree, but monthsary does not reinforce us to love better. It only shows how pathetic our love life is that we even need to adapt the fast-paced celebration there is in life to feel the immediate love. One month, eh? Technically speaking, you have been in a relationship for about 31 days (in the case of first monthsaries).
What makes things worse is the fact that people, usually teenagers, are confusing themselves on the concept of commitment, obligations, and love. Our idea on love had likewise made us experienced the most disappointing love life ever. We have made to believe that love is supposed to be romantic, and is supposed to be funny, and is supposed to have a happy ending. But in the truth, love is a journey, and a milestone. And is not supposed to be celebrated monthly, come on!
Monthsary: The Verdict
Whoever invented the monthsary owes an explanation. Not only that, but a million times of apology to everyone who had been experiencing stress every month because they are running out of sweet ideas to amuse their partners. It’s not bad to celebrate once in a while, but the thought of having monthly celebration is too much.
We call the first year anniversary as Paper Anniversary. Perhaps because the first few years are still crucial, (same with a piece of paper, easy to tear apart) still on the process of major adjustments and getting to know each other. But while years fly, the foundation of love is getting stronger.
But as anniversaries are turning to a monthly celebration, I guess it’s warning us that love is too fragile for us to handle it in more lengthy years. We cannot wait for twelve months because we fear that those months will not come. We are scared and practically succumbed to the idea that love will not last. It’s as if telling us that ‘enjoy it until it lasts’ because love is stupid, and love is unreal, and love is an illusion.
The woman at the beginning of this story might have been laughing at us. No, scratch that. Most possibly, she and her friends, and their husbands and husbands’ friends are all laughing at us. Pity our generation. We have come up with epic ways of showering affection.
The cycle of love and commitment should never end— that’s the deal. But, with the shallow perspective on love today, the seemingly ‘undying’ love is turning into a script and routine of empty speeches. Lame. With the concept of monthsaries taking the spotlight of love, it is not surprising if one day, other terminologies will be born— sugarcoating the notion of love once more.
In the reality, Anniversaries, monthsaries, or whenever-you-feel-like-celebrating do not tell anyone the quality of love that you have with each other. In the end, it’s the sincerity that counts. It’s the love that is being quantified. But, let us never forget that if something is worthy, it’s worth the wait. And by the way, have you ever heard of daysary? Probably not yet. But do wait for more times, it will come out soon.
P.S. At least some people are making sense.
(First monthsary? Assure your boyfriend/girlfriend that there will be more monthsaries to come, and make him/her feel loved J )
