I always always want to be regarded as ‘smart’ if not really the geeky type. No. I could even settle to the ‘more curious’ type. As long as people won’t call be dumb, I’ll be fine.
Ever since I discovered and realized that I do not possess the ‘epitome of beauty’, I told myself that I should atleast be something to be proud of. I do not blame my parent’s genes for not having such ‘wait, she’s gorgeous’ comments from people, I mean, of course no one can do anything about their looks (well except resorting to plastic surgery of which I obviously cannot afford. hah! that would be my next topic). And so, to fill in the missing links in myself, I decided that I should study harder. Plus, I have to divert my mind to a more acceptable journey than to let myself suffer in those problems that I have.
It is more frustrating on my part to fail on academic stuffs. I mean, this is what I have. This is what I can be proud of myself. But both of my expectations and high hopes have made me suffer even more. Sigh. It’s either that I have wished to be somebody better than I know myself is, or I have underestimated my will power to do better that made me feel like this.
Talent-wise. Lol. I mean, I have no talent. I always wish to be good at dancing or singing or in music, but no. I always end up as a loser. People around me do not take this seriously (anyway, no one takes me seriously) .
I am an emotional drama queen. Well, my blog says it all. When I talk, I know that I could share whatever things that I don’t really want to share. That’s why, I decided to zip my mouth a little bit. I hate it when people, who knew my stuffs (of which I obviously trusted to them), would use these in-for-may-tion to tease me or make fun of me. It’s really really pissing me off.
So, back to being a geeky-wanna-be, I always try to be better. I am not the studious type of student. I’d rather be sleeping than memorize notes! Oh, speaking of which, I hate memorization. I don’t actually see the point of memorizing in real life. I mean, oh well, of course, except if you’re joining quiz bee and so on. But if it would be on real life, I cannot think of (I actually thought of articles and laws. hmm never mind) things that need memorization. Hah!
Okay. I’m already sleepy. This post is going nowhere. So to end my nonsense post, I’m putting and xoxo to apply my theoretical annotation on ‘thinking outside the box’. You think that xoxo is just a letter x letter o letter x and letter o? You’re definitely wrong because in my world outside the box, it’s hugs and kisses. Go figure out.
Sleepyhead -.-
