Life is not a cotton candy to me. But I want to see a different perspective. I want to see it as a challenge or a motivation to wake me up in the morning. Although most of the time, I see myself staring blankly at nothing, and thinking ‘what the fuck am I doing with my life’. When I’m stuck at home, I end my day doing absolutely nothing— when I say nothing, I mean 12+ hours hibernating at my bed. And when the night comes in, here comes my wide awake mind provoking me to infinity and poking me the sad truth that my life is wasted. I am wasting my time.

When things are too emotional for me to handle, I’m glad, I always have back-up. Of course, prayer is still the best buddy. Maybe, this is how God answers my prayer, my questions, my problems, my fucked-up life. I am so glad because, even at the darkest and nonsense hour of my life, I have something behind me.

One of my greatest dream (equivalent as being a passionate teacher) is to come up with a life-inspiring books. I’ve actually though of this, but if the possibility of assuming a governmental position is there, I want to become an ambassadress of good will. Haha! Why not? Though most of the times I’m the stupid assassin among our siblings’ dispute, deep inside, I really want to mediate with other people’s misunderstanding. Haha No. Not in a way of being a freak in other people’s business.

Anyhow, I want to share my favorite books. These are what help me, and somehow enlighten me whenever I need someone to talk about my problems with. These are, nonetheless, my favorite things in life.

Say hi, 223 things. :)

There’s actually a funny story behind this book. It was not bought intentionally. When we saw this at gateway, my mom hurriedly (and loudly) said ‘Bilhin niyo to para bumait kayo’. Really. Mama never fails to amuse us. Haha.

This book is not really a dosage of inspiring thoughts, but you would actually realize what you’re leaving behind. This book contains the basics, you know, things that we actually overlook and take for granted. I might compare this with ‘What I really need to know, I learned it in Kindergarten’. The only difference is that this 223 things are written in a simple and straight-forward approach. And yes, I still have a lot of things to learn.

Meet Francis Kong

I am not filthy rich. So, this almost P500-book, I might say, is really a sacrifice. Hah. But, it’s definitely a good sacrifice. I’ve actually learned about Francis Kong from my cousin. She was reading ‘Only the Real Matters’ then when she went here at our house. It was actually a course requirement if I remembered correctly. But once I get hold of his book, I want to know more. I decided that I’ll be buying his book, too. When I got at NBS, I saw and realized that Francis Kong has some bunch of books. I HAVE NO MONEY. But I am dying to buy them all. T_T pat my back please. As a consolation, hello to this book! I bought the first volume (though I have no idea if I can complete all the other books. I want). Francis Kong is definitely a genius. Even if most of the articles are intently for working groups, as a student, I’ve somewhat grasped the idea about what living a good life means. It’s a process. Waaah. No, I am not deep. So, that’s it.

And my most favorite (though I have no idea who Dan Millman is)

This. It’s been my bestfriend since 2007. I bought this at book sale in Robinson’s Lipa for P110. I was with my human best friend & book sale has been our favorite spot in high school. I am not book-ish, or book worm, or whatever book is, but I am happy with this one. When things are really rough, I always have this. I read this. I actually reread it. Although I already know the content, the advices, the teachings, I have to read this again. I want someone (or on this case, something) to tell me that my problems are just some sort of mood swings and are not really a problem at all. When I have a hard time dealing with my academic life, when it actually sucks, I have this. I read and read and read this all over again. You know, my perspective does change, somehow. I am so thankful that I did not hesitate to buy this at that time (although this price is surely a big deal then).

So yeah. Perhaps, this six-day vacation that I had opened my heart a little bit. I want to become better. I want to overcome all of my frustrations and fears. I want to help myself a little bit. I want to become someone that my family would love. I want to meet my inner self. You know, life is rough, but I am tougher. So yeah.

In real life, my highly regarded friends are less than twenty all together (this figure excludes my relatives and family). You know, those are real strangers who have become very important in my life. They either changed me, or I have changed them to become better. My friends and I do not technically possess the same philosophy or culture, but I guess we have found our common ground. We have a lot of differences, family background, perspectives, attitude, interest, hobby, and so on. In short, we are different entities tied together to share a what we have ‘friendship’. :)

Maybe not everyone has the same philosophy as mine. I don’t really want a big bunch of friends. In elementary alone, I have only one bestfriend (actually two, but I guess we were not able to find our common ground). In high school, I actually met the I-thought-to-be nice bestfriend, but I guess, we’re better off this way. But I met my real highschool bestfriend anyway. :) Then another set of friends. Actually my friends are mostly from my high school department. :) I am so overwhelmed to have them in my life. At the present, I have my college friends with me. We’re not really big. Outside school, I guess my real bestfriends would be my three girl cousins. They’re my childhood friends, my bestfriends, my sisters.

See? I am contented with the number of friends that I have. It’s better to have few but real friends than to have everyone but only few are real.

Ever since I discovered and realized that I do not possess the ‘epitome of beauty’, I told myself that I should atleast be something to be proud of. I do not blame my parent’s genes for not having such ‘wait, she’s gorgeous’ comments from people, I mean, of course no one can do anything about their looks (well except resorting to plastic surgery of which I obviously cannot afford. hah! that would be my next topic). And so, to fill in the missing links in myself, I decided that I should study harder. Plus, I have to divert my mind to a more acceptable journey than to let myself suffer in those problems that I have.

It is more frustrating on my part to fail on academic stuffs. I mean, this is what I have. This is what I can be proud of myself. But both of my expectations and high hopes have made me suffer even more. Sigh. It’s either that I have wished to be somebody better than I know  myself is, or I have underestimated my will power to do better that made me feel like this.

Talent-wise. Lol. I mean, I have no talent. I always wish to be good at dancing or singing or in music, but no. I always end up as a loser. People around me do not take this seriously (anyway, no one takes me seriously) .

I am an emotional drama queen. Well, my blog says it all. When I talk, I know that I could share whatever things that I don’t really want to share. That’s why, I decided to zip my mouth a little bit. I hate it when people, who knew my stuffs (of which I obviously trusted to them), would use these in-for-may-tion to tease me or make fun of me. It’s really really pissing me off.

So, back to being a geeky-wanna-be, I always try to be better. I am not the studious type of student. I’d rather be sleeping than memorize notes! Oh, speaking of which, I hate memorization. I don’t actually see the point of memorizing in real life. I mean, oh well, of course, except if you’re joining quiz bee and so on. But if it would be on real life, I cannot think of (I actually thought of articles and laws. hmm never mind) things that need memorization. Hah!

Okay. I’m already sleepy. This post is going nowhere. So to end my nonsense post, I’m putting and xoxo to apply my theoretical annotation on ‘thinking outside the box’. You think that xoxo is just a letter x letter o letter x and letter o? You’re definitely wrong because in my world outside the box, it’s hugs and kisses. Go figure out.

Sleepyhead -.-

Oh well, this is technically dedicated to myself. I want to encourage myself to be more studious and more responsible! Hey hey hey!

Okay. stop the nonsense, and I will provide myself the basics. Hihi It’s more fun in the Philippines! Haha And btw, it’s already midterm week!

1. Sleep early. One thing I don’t know how, until now. I really really want to sleep early but random things are hindering me to have my beauty sleep early. But swear (oh stop swearing!), after midterms, I’ll be hibernating before 12 am!

2. Wake up early. Okay, next. Haha just kidding! But yeah, even though I slept early, damn, my body is too attached with my bed. Like last night, I slept at 11.30 pm but I was able to wake up at 12.30 pm!!!!! I NEED MEDICAL HELP. @_@

3. Drink water. I learned (from the internet,ok?), that water is really important to our body. I mean, I thought it was just some basic what-what of those intelligent self-proclaimed people but nooooooo, water is really good. Instead of drinking coffee ( I stopped drinking coffee because I experience hyperacidity, I don’t know why), I replaced it with lots of water. And to be honest, I feel fresh always! Whenever I feel sleepy especially at two thirty in the morning, I drink atleast one and half glass of water, and swear, I feel that my blood is circulating really good. I am the new water ambassadress. hahaha

4. Read notes. I know how to take notes during class but the problem is, I don’t really read them afterwards. lol It’s as if cooking food and not eating at all. Haha I don’t need to elaborate this.

5. Organize your bedroom/study room/house/working desk/life. Throw unnecessary stuffs. Hahaha look who’s talking 101. But seriously glee, be neat!

6. Read more books.

7. Disconnect from the cyberworld. Okay, I admit. It’s really difficult for me to avoid facebook, twitter, tumblr, wattpad, wordpress, mail and some accountss!!!!! I need help again. lol. just kidding. But I guess this is what social life means to me :( But really, I need to discipline myself with this.

8. Focus!!!  tell yourself what you want to be in a few years from now. For me, I want to become a Certified Public Accountant. CPA. CPA.

9. Pray harder. Talk to God. Ask help and say thank you for whatever things that you have. Don’t just ask to have decent grades. Work for it (glee, guilty!).

That’s all folks. :D

It’s not verified. But some people claimed that monthsaries were invented by Filipinos. Is this true madlang people?

Spot the mistake above.

Friend1: Necklace

Friend2: I don’t know, I don’t have a bf

Friend3: Your heart

Friend4: Ring

Friend5: Time J

And the list goes on…

(And I was like, ring? That friend is probably demented! )

But if that ‘little girl’, of whom I presumed, is around 14-15 years old, asked me, I’ll advise her to break up with her boyfriend, and instead, do better in school. Just kidding!  this part was actually deleted. HAHA! no wonder.

It is funny though, how things have been about love lately. “I don’t have a girlfriend, I am so lonely.” “We broke up, I failed the test.” Why? Is romantic relationship the only thing that makes your life goes around? Then failed love stories will come out sooner or later. It’s getting on my nerves!

A woman, probably at her forty’s, smirked when asked if by any chance, she and her husband celebrated monthsary during their teen age years. Shocked, and stunned, and probably puzzled, all she said was, “what monthsary?”

It still, and I guess, will always bother me. How can people afford monthly celebrations? Given the limited time, limited resources (hey students, I am talking to you), and every limitation that there is to think of, some can still include monthsaries in their long list of activities. Is love a hassle?

Monthsary: The Issue

Due to lack of expertise, I consulted some of my friends regarding this stuff. I received a confirmation: monthsaries are really expensive. Though it appears unfair on the part of the male species, they are ones expected to give their utmost alas on their monthsary, specifically because their ladies are having a hard time on deciding whether they will wear dress, or wear a simple tees on your first month celebration.

Technically speaking, celebrating monthsaries are unpractical. Imagine every month; you have to prepare ‘something special’ that will make your partner happy.  As a student, it is unwise to spend a high amount of money, especially if you parents are giving you money enough for your necessities only. Or even you have high-cut budget, do not forget that it is your parents’ money, not yours. So always keep an eye on your resources.

Moreover, it’s actually funny how monthsaries are turning into an obligation rather than a will. I quote my friend, “It is worst if you have a nagging girlfriend, when you forget your monthsary, girls will be hysterical”.

Monthsary: Limited

When asked why couples celebrate monthsaries, “Baka kasi hindi maka one year.” (We are not sure if we could reach one year). Ridiculous, that is, but it is where monthsary boils down. Really, kids of today have been looking at relationships as status instead of commitment. No wonder, nothing great comes out.

It saddens that people in a relationship nowadays are expecting an expiration date on love. It seems that love is an easy-to-get and easy-to-lose thing. Nothing special. Views on commitment have been distorted by the trending and nonsense lifestyle of teenagers. So, in other words, people have no choice left except to admit the sucking reality that relationships are limited, hence, monthsaries.

With the concept of monthsary entering the picture, forever is turning out as a big joke today. No joke. Although we could hear some proclamation of their err, undying love, it turns out otherwise. It turns out that their thought-to-be forever relationship has been squeezed into lesser months of some fights and some love. And that the concept of anniversary is becoming a big deal today (wow! They lasted each other that long. How’d they do that?) Anniversary is a milestone, I supposed. But with monthsary as a replacement, it’s now what kind of journey?

Unfortunately, most of the couples nowadays have been hauled by the modern society’s very definition of love— Cheap.  Likewise, the age of romanticism has been extended even to the minors, including graders aged 11 and 12. Yet, these all end up on parting ways. Sad but true. With all the instant-ness popping out today, even the perception of love is becoming misleading. Talk about monthsaries.

Monthsary: The Satiation Theory

If you’ve studied Economics, you would probably understand how satiation theory affects our daily lives, well, today, even our love life. And to those non-Economic students, satiation is explained simply as: ‘The first time you eat your favorite food, you’ll feel very satisfied. But as you eat them twice or more, you will enjoy it less. As you eat further, you will lose satisfaction, to the point that you are just eating them.” Same thing happens on monthly celebrations. You’ll surely love the first time, most probably; it will make turn your life upside down. But as another month approaches, you will feel terrible, stressed out, obliged, and everything would be insincere. You just do celebrate for the sake of monthsary.

Monthsary: Cheap Thrill

Most probably not everyone would agree, but monthsary does not reinforce us to love better. It only shows how pathetic our love life is that we even need to adapt the fast-paced celebration there is in life to feel the immediate love. One month, eh? Technically speaking, you have been in a relationship for about 31 days (in the case of first monthsaries).

What makes things worse is the fact that people, usually teenagers, are confusing themselves on the concept of commitment, obligations, and love. Our idea on love had likewise made us experienced the most disappointing love life ever. We have made to believe that love is supposed to be romantic, and is supposed to be funny, and is supposed to have a happy ending. But in the truth, love is a journey, and a milestone. And is not supposed to be celebrated monthly, come on!

Monthsary: The Verdict

Whoever invented the monthsary owes an explanation. Not only that, but a million times of apology to everyone who had been experiencing stress every month because they are running out of sweet ideas to amuse their partners. It’s not bad to celebrate once in a while, but the thought of having monthly celebration is too much.

We call the first year anniversary as Paper Anniversary. Perhaps because the first few years are still crucial, (same with a piece of paper, easy to tear apart) still on the process of major adjustments and getting to know each other. But while years fly, the foundation of love is getting stronger.

But as anniversaries are turning to a monthly celebration, I guess it’s warning us that love is too fragile for us to handle it in more lengthy years. We cannot wait for twelve months because we fear that those months will not come. We are scared and practically succumbed to the idea that love will not last. It’s as if telling us that ‘enjoy it until it lasts’ because love is stupid, and love is unreal, and love is an illusion.

The woman at the beginning of this story might have been laughing at us. No, scratch that. Most possibly, she and her friends, and their husbands and husbands’ friends are all laughing at us. Pity our generation. We have come up with epic ways of showering affection.

The cycle of love and commitment should never end— that’s the deal. But, with the shallow perspective on love today, the seemingly ‘undying’ love is turning into a script and routine of empty speeches. Lame. With the concept of monthsaries taking the spotlight of love, it is not surprising if one day, other terminologies will be born— sugarcoating the notion of love once more.

In the reality, Anniversaries, monthsaries, or whenever-you-feel-like-celebrating do not tell anyone the quality of love that you have with each other. In the end, it’s the sincerity that counts. It’s the love that is being quantified. But, let us never forget that if something is worthy, it’s worth the wait. And by the way, have you ever heard of daysary? Probably not yet. But do wait for more times, it will come out soon.

P.S. At least some people are making sense.

(First monthsary? Assure your boyfriend/girlfriend that there will be more monthsaries to come, and make him/her feel loved J )

]]> http://abubutz.wordpress.com/2012/01/07/its-been-a-month-babe-i-love-you/feed/ 0 mimi m1 m2 http://abubutz.wordpress.com/2012/01/07/what-i-hate-about-budoy/ http://abubutz.wordpress.com/2012/01/07/what-i-hate-about-budoy/#comments Sat, 07 Jan 2012 19:59:01 +0000 glitterglee http://abubutz.wordpress.com/?p=9417730537 Continue reading →]]> Okay, before anything else, I’m not here to bash the ‘Budoy’ episodes airing on Abs-Cbn. The truth of the matter is that I’m here to share my sentiments about  the ‘Budoy’ itself. Anyway.

First things first, I like Gerald Anderson! Hihi Okay, enough said.

Second, I have a cousin who is mentally challenged. So in general, I understand what Budoy is going through.

Third, I am a Kapamilya sucker. Oh well, not literally sucker, but I am an Abs-Cbn loyalist (plus GMA’S Pepito Manoloto, Jessica Soho and Eat Bulaga’s Pinoy Henyo and Juan for All segments, and some more).

So my point is, I guess Budoy went overboard (talk about classic pinoy soap opera). When I saw the first few episodes, I assured myself that I’ll never be watching such thing especially on those parts where BJ’s friends (Enrique Gil) were bullying Budoy. It’s so classic! I mean you can predict that that thing would happen, and that Budoy will be sympathized by the people, and that those bully kids will be villain forever. But I guess I was wrong. I actually went to see few more episodes because I was overwhelmed when BJ was actually saving Budoy from his friends (bromance.hihi). As the nights wore on, I realized I’m actually watching Budoy except when I arrived late or when I don’t really want to watch TV at all (laziness level 101).

But… wth! after an incident when Budoy was struck by lightning, he began progressing and even became an intelligent and genius boy! Oh boy! (Please shed me some light. I f you are from the medical society please explain this phenomenon!!!)

Okay. So I am actually disappointed. Why did he become smart? I guess it would be more acceptable if in the first place he was known as someone who has high IQ, and not really as mentally challenged (stop calling retarded!) human. I mean, let’s be real. Let’s deal with what is happening in real life. I thought that Abs-Cbn made another, yet more realistic episode but they disappoint me 100 times! (I’m pretty sure some people feel the same). I want to see a different perspective. Are they doing this to inspire people? for what? for people to actually believe that a mentally challenged person can become a genius Budoy? okay, I really have no idea about the scientific facts re this, but based on my observations, those people who were born (&not really out of depression) with mental disability have chances of progressing but not really to the point of being completely healed. I’m sorry. I don’t want to be a pessimist shitty, but I don’t want people who have mentally challenged relatives to have false hope either (unless, as what I said, someone can explain the possibility about becoming completely normal to me. please shed some light). You know, instead of complicating Budoy’s life (e.g. involving in a romantic relationship with Jackie (Jessie Mendiola)) I guess it’s better if they’ll include more journeys of Budoy in life— as a student, a learner, a son, a grandson, and a friend. And please if they’re going to make him a genius swag, at least show more scenes of Budoy reading books!

Okay. My arguments might be invalid. But whatever. And yeah despite my sentiments, I somehow pray that mentally challenged people can become as normal as Budoy.

Though my mind set is so focussed on my future career, somehow, an idea about my ‘supposed to be future wedding’ popped in my mind. Yiii. Of course, however I lacked romantic involvement as of the moment, I am still a girl who fantasizes dreamy stuffs like wedding. *giggles* And yessss, I have imagined my wedding dress. I actually want to buy a wedding magazine but I’m a little bit hesitant. Haha My parents might misunderstood me. Oh well, in the next months I’ll probably get one. LOL

Although I’m still confused about the specific details of my future wedding, there’s this one thing that I want to achieve on that special day: serenity. :)

And of course, romantic atmosphere. <3 <3 <3 tralalala

p.s. I’m sorry, I wasn’t able to link the image to its owner

Of course I included myself there! Haha

2011 was (or is, since technically, it’s only the 28th of December) a blast. I experienced a lot of new things this year. I even met new people, and my group of friends widened.

February

1.  A3B Recollection (so fun!)

2. Went to UPLB to visit our HS friends

3. Celebrated DLSL fair with friends (and I was head over heels at Jason Abalos! :D )

4. Is single last Valentine’s day! yohooooooo

April

1. Went to Bacolod for the first time! (rode in an airplane for the first time, went out-of-town with friends for the first time, zip line for the first time, trekking for the first time (the 7 stations at Bacolod), and many many more first times)

2. Had my summer job for the first time (joined the company’s summer outing, and met new friends! :) )

May

1. Strolled at the mall with Ara (she’s my driver! lol, first time to be driven with a friend! super cool!! :) )

2. Watched movie with Melissa (Sarah and Gerald’s) & &

3. Met Parokya ni Edgar in person for the first time (plus pictures and autographs with them!!!!!!!! )

4. Realized that I like Buwi more than Chito! HAHAHA ( I love PNE!)

July

JPIA night with orgmates :D (Accountancy Night, masquerade theme)

August

1. Solidarity Rites with Lavoxa people:)

October

1. My 20th birthday! (celebrated with friends, photo was not included) :D

2. Went to Makati with Mentos Gang

3. Sembreak (spent at QC with our nanay)

November

1. Celebrated nanay Maynila’s 90th birthday

2. Went to Hidalgo (& amazed myself at those lovely cameras!!! )

December

1. Christmas season (Christmas spirit over all)

2. Attended Christmas Parties(at our Professor’s house, and at our respective subjects (yes, we had a party with classmates inside the classroom))

3. Had a small dinner with mentos gang (plus grace’s boyfriend, and received awesome gifts)

4. Completed Misa De Galio ( :)))))))))))) )

5. Been stucked at home after Christmas break

6. Received awesome gifts (mostly pouch, I don’t know why)

7. Received Cash!!! (didn’t expect I will receive that much, imagine I’m already 20! :) ) But yes, thank you pows

8. Celebrated Christmas with families (and relatives :) )